When it comes to rating what the public thinks of a restaurant, it’s best to approach it the way figure skating is judged: throw out the highest and lowest scores, then average what’s left. In the case of Old Wives’ Tales, what you have left is this: A place with lots of room, a kids’ play area, a quiet room in the back, a soup and salad bar that’s host to a very famous Hungarian mushroom soup, a massive menu filled with wholesome cooking, dozens of vegetarian and vegan options, and food that everybody agrees is neither cutting edge nor fancy.

Even folks who like Old Wives’ Tales, and there are plenty of them, use words like “predictable” and “old-fashioned.” Folks who don’t like it say it lacks flavor, is overpriced, and has all the charm of a Denny’s. Vegetarians and vegans seem to appreciate the diversity of choices but think the food is often better elsewhere.

To me, the food is just the kind of stuff a bunch of old wives would come up with. They’d want the kids to have space and the grownups to have peace, they’d want to use healthy ingredients but not necessarily get it straight from local farmers (too pricey), and they’d try to cater to everybody’s tastes and dietary restrictions. A lot of their food sounds great -- like the Moroccan Oatmeal with raisins, dates, apricots, cinnamon, coriander and turmeric, served with milk or soymilk and brown sugar or maple syrup -- but somehow isn’t very exciting. They get points for the kiddie stuff: a large menu in the $1 - $4 range for standards like mac and cheese, applesauce and a PB&J sandwich.

When my friends and I were done, there was some sticker shock (I spent $14.50 with tip) and agreement there had been no real Wow dish. So it’s safe to say that if it were in the Olympics, Old Wives’ Tales would finish and get polite applause, but probably not a medal.

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Folks can argue long and hard about the best or worst breakfast places in Portland, but the Cameo Cafe may well be the strangest. It looks like a roadhouse or greasy-spoon joint, but inside, the décor practically screams Grandma, with flowered wallpaper, tea sets on shelves, and clay figurines of chefs over the stove. My friend Jane said it looked like an ice cream parlor. Keep looking and you’ll spot a bulletin board covered with signed photos of Miss America contestants who apparently ate there. There’s also an accordion, a flashing carousel, a parasol and clay figurines of hillbillies, Cupid and a naked lady.

After you peel through the layers of oddness, you’ll see that the Cameo is in most ways a pretty straightforward breakfast joint, with big portions and high prices. It shares the famous “acres” of pancakes from the old Cameo West; they come with apples, bananas, strawberries, raspberries or peaches.

But there is a Korean thread running through the menu. There are tofu pancakes (made with mung beans and rice), for example, with vegetables and cheese. And there is Sue Gee’s FUSION Pancake (that’s how it’s written on the menu) with rice and vegetables in a “special prepared batter” with cheese. And nothing can prepare you for the words “Kimchee Omelet.” And then there’s what I had, the Pindaettok, which is pronounced "pin-day-tuck" and is, according to the menu, “a Korean word meaning pancake.” It’s a soy-based pancake with vegetables, beans, spices and ground rice in a “flavored batter,” cooked thin and crispy with Duck Sauce on the side. It comes with two eggs, bacon and two pieces of their yummy, multigrain, house-made STRONG BREAD. (Again, that’s how it appears on the menu).

The Pindaettok defined the place for me. I had never heard of it, wasn’t quite sure what it was and was not at all used to spicy vegetables at breakfast. But I also liked it.

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I sit on the little spin-around counter seat at the Hollywood Burger Bar and my knees hit the wall underneath. I think to myself, I bet this place has been here a long time. The guy behind the counter says, “We’ve been here 17 years. It’s been the Burger Bar since 1954. The place was built in the ‘20s, been serving food since the ‘30s, before that it was a dry cleaner, before that it was a trolley stop.” A trolley stop!

It all came together for me. The small seats. The tiny kitchen. The church bells I heard as I walked in. This used to be a little hub of a little community. Turns out two trolley lines ended here: one out Sandy and one up 39th. Back then, when Sandy was Highway 30 heading for the Columbia Gorge, what we now call the Hollywood District was a little village on the edge of civilization, and folks would come in here to get a cup of coffee and a paper before hopping on the trolley to go into Portland.

Look around the neighborhood: Sam’s Billiards has been there since 1962, Pal’s Shanty since 1937, the Pagoda and the Mandarin since the ‘40s, Sylvia’s since 1957, St. Michael’s church since 1910, Paulsen's Pharmacy since 1918 (and they have an old-style soda fountain, too!).

One morning at the Burger Bar’s counter I saw a woman keeping a journal, a young guy waking up and stretching, an elderly couple being taken out by their middle-aged daughter, and a man and woman talking religion and politics. Three bus lines run by the door, and I wondered how much has really changed.

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The little corner of SE Hawthorne Blvd and 23rd Street has been a breakfast destination for years: Cafe Lena was the previous inhabitant, and Jam fits in the same groove.

It’s a place that locals walk to, even if folks from other parts of town might not know exactly where it is. Jam’s colors are bright, the staff is young and cheerful, and it’s a relaxed place and cozy, with just six booths and eight tables.

Jam leads with its signature namesake spreads, which are on the table before you order. Even disparaging reviews of the place say things like, “Don’t go unless you just really like homemade jams.” The seasonal flavors I’ve seen include blueberry, strawberry-mango and pear chai. The other sweet signature dish is the amazing lemon ricotta pancake, which the Oregonian featured in a pancake special feature: “With a drizzle of warm blueberry sauce, these 'cakes sound more like a haute dessert than a flapjack breakfast. But the citrus hit is subtle, the mild ricotta lends body to the batter and the house-made topping is vibrant with fruit. A sweet way to start your day.”

Still, my dining experiences at Jam have seemed to fade. The biscuits, though freshly baked, weren’t too exciting; the salmon scramble and the hash seemed a little dry; and my chair was a little goofy. But the coffee was good, the service nice, the atmosphere relaxed, and the prices downright reasonable, so we weren’t upset. We walked away saying things like, “Well, it wasn’t the greatest breakfast ever, but I liked it.” Besides, I’m a sucker for sweets, although I wasn’t quite up to the Cinnamon Sugar French Toast or the wheat-free Vegan Oatmeal Blueberry Chai Pancake.

Jam has a lot of options and doesn’t try to do too much; plus, the vegans seem to say nice things about it. In the restaurant business you need something to depend on, and in Jam’s case, being friendly and healthy, getting produce from the little stand across the street, and having two or three items that really stand out are enough to make it a nice little place for breakfast.

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To call the Blossoming Lotus a place that serves breakfast doesn’t do it justice. On its website, the Lotus calls itself “a vortex of positive and loving vibrations for all to experience.” Seriously.

Blossoming Lotus is in the lobby of Yoga in the Pearl, and from the fountains, the healthy-happy staff, the bamboo, and the sunshine to the stylish hard-body Pearlites, it’s just about the healthiest place in town. And there’s not one ounce of snootiness about it.

And, yes, the Lotus has five breakfast-specific options, but the larger lunch menu is also available starting at 11:00am. The website says, “Our cuisine is prepared and served with mindfulness, gratitude and the intention to heal and nurture. . . . Respect for the earth and the principles of nonviolence guide us to utilize the abundance of the plant kingdom in all of our recipes.” Everything is organic and vegan — even the beer. Ditto the “soft serve,” which is made with soy milk.

And then there’s the word live, which means “raw,” and many of the selections, including two on the breakfast menu, are raw. And lest you think vegan means “veggie burgers” and raw means “salad,” how does this sound for breakfast? Breakfast Parfait with live granola, fresh fruit and cashew nut creme. Buckwheat and Walnut Granola with fresh and dried fruit and nut milk. A breakfast burrito (tofu, black beans, and veggies), and good ol’ hot oatmeal with maple syrup, fresh fruit, raisins and Brazil nut milk.

The Blossoming Lotus isn’t just about nutrition; the cafe refers to itself as a “model,” and the official slogan is “Bringing peace to life.” Sitting in the sunny, relaxing cafe, you can see it’s meant both ways: bringing a little peace to your life and trying to give life to a larger peace.

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